So how does our beliefs effect how we look at Down Syndrome and birth defects?Â It really changes everything
We believe that God has created Esther exactly the way He wants her to be. The way we needed her to be.Â She is a precious gift from God.Â She is exactly what God saw as best for our family.Â I wouldn't have her any other way.Â God is working in our family through her and her circumstances.
We have known that as we got older, the "likelihood" of conceiving a baby with Down's Syndrome was increasing, but the way I see it, "probability" is only telling us how God has worked in the overall scheme of things in the past, and God is not controlled by our statistics!Â He could easily choose to never create another baby with DS, or He could choose that all babies be created with it.Â God can do anything, but He chooses to do things in order to bring about His good will in our lives.Â His will is for us to grow in grace and truth.Â For each of us, this is done differently, but for each of us this is done in the exact way that we need it to be done.
All the parents I have talked to who have special needs babies say the same thing...our baby is just what we needed as a family.Â She/he has blessed us beyond anything we could have imagined.
Is it easy?Â No, it's not easy.Â But then, God doesn't promise that we will never have pain, or sadness, or discomfort.Â But He does promise that He will never leave us or forsake us.Â That even when we go through the deepest valleys, He is with us to comfort us and guide us through the storms of life, and all He asks of us is that we trust Him, love Him, and praise Him.
1Â O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2Â You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
3Â You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
4Â Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
5Â You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6Â Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
7Â Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8Â If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
9Â If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
10Â Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
11Â If I say, â€œSurely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,â€
12Â Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.
13Â For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my motherâ€™s womb.
14Â I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
15Â My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16Â Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
This is such a wonderful passage.Â God will go with me no matter where I go and what I am going through.
This passage also wipes away fears of death.Â "The days that were ordained for me"...this means that our life span is in God's hands, and there is nothing anyone can do to rob us of any of the days God has planned for us.Â Many say when someone dies young, that they were taken before it was their time, and other ways of describing the death of a young person indicating that his death was untimely, too early.Â But I believe that death comes in God's timing - it's only a surprise to us.
Each life has a purpose, and that purpose might be fulfilled in a short amount of time, or in a long lifetime, and some are even fulfilled before they are born.Â Johanna Marie was our little girl that never took a breath.Â She died in my womb at just 20 weeks gestation.Â Was her life cut short because of pesticides in the field?Â No, she lived out the exact number of days that God had ordained for her - and her short life impacted our lives and served it's purpose in us.
How does this effect my thoughts on Esther?Â She's very sick right now, this sickness could be "unto death".Â She's also facing open heart surgery.Â This could also end in her death.Â but that is in God's hands.Â Whenever I start to worry and grieve, I try to remind myself that she is God's child, given to me for a time, and whether it's a short time or a long lifetime, I must treasure each day I have with her and learn all that God is teaching me through her precious life.Â Does that mean I never cry?Â Of course not.Â I love her.Â I want her to survive and live and teach us.Â But above all I want to learn to trust God, even with the lives of my children, because when I trust God, I can be at peace.
A young man I grew up with, felt that his death was imminent - he was going to be leaving for college soon, and he had planned to fly, but in light of his feelings, he choose to drive with a friend instead.Â Before leaving, he wrote a will and planned his funeral.Â About halfway to college, for an unknown reason, the car flipped and he was killed.Â His friend, who was driving, walked away with a few bruises.Â For some reason, God let him know that "his time" was near.Â Yet he was young and healthy.Â Taken before 'his time'?Â No, he was brought into the presence of His Lord and Savior at the exact time ordained for him.
Probabilities...chances...likelihood...life expectancy...all words that do not take into account God loving, sovereign will inÂ lives.
Psalm 56 11Â In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?