Thursday, September 25, 2008

What a tough day!

Today was not a good day for either of us.  Her oxygen levels kept dropping during and after feeding, so she's had to have blow by oxygen off and on all day.

The pediatrician decided they should take a second look at her heart and lungs, so she got exrays and they did another live feed video/ultrasound to Children's Hospital (in Seattle) after making sure I understood that this might mean that she'd have to be transported down to Children's if they found anything they had missed the first time or if anything had developed since the first one.

She did great through both the exrays and the ultrasound and both didn't show any problems (there was a hazy area on one of th exrays, but nothing conclusive so they're going to do another set tomorrow just to be sure).  After all that they let me cuddle with her and all the stress was just too much for me - the tears came then.

My feet have been so swollen and starting early n the morning I began to have a really bad  headache, so I had Daryl bring down my blood pressure cuff - guess what??  My blood pressure is way too high - the first reading this afternoon was 157/97.  So we (the nurses and I) decided it was time to contact my doctor. By 5 pm I had blood pressure meds in hand and I've taken one dose so far.  My feet/ankles/lower calves are still really swollen - so bad my ankles barely flex and the skin on the top of my feet is stinging.

Everyday at 7 am and 7 pm there's a shift change and us moms get kicked out of the nursery for about an hour.  I got talking to Daryl and stayed away for an hour.  I got there and Esther had had a crisis already!  I HATE shift changes!  They were all nurses who had never cared for Esther and right away one nurse noticed that Esther's IV had blown and her hand was all swollen - so they had to remove it - she had been fussing and of course through all that she got stressed.  Once they had the IV removed, the nurse put her on her tummy!  Ack! Twice she's really stressed by being on her tummy and all her nurses knew to not put her on her tummy!  She now has a sticky note on her isolette that says "No Tummy!"

So the nurse called the pediatrician and without looking at her charts, the pediatrician decided that Esther should discontinue feedings completely.  Needless to say, I was very disconcerted over this developement.

I stayed with Esther while they got another IV started (only took three times - man that was really bumming me out, but Esther did really well, hardly cried at all and her Oxygen levels stayed high even!).  Then I requested to talk with the pediatrician and after reviewing Esther's day with the pediatrician, she decided to allow feeds to continue at the same volume, but really watching her Oxygen levels and then they'll re-evaluate the situation in the morning.

She took her next bottle easily, but did need more blow by after the feeding (it's still going right now) - but man I'm sure she's more than a little stressed - I am I know that!

Also, the hand that had the IV in it is soooo swollen and red and she reacts when it's touched -it must be very painful for her.  I'm so afraid the skin will spit of something - I rubbed breast milk on it after her feeding and asked the nurse for a cold, wet washcloth and held that on her hand for about a half an hour - I'll do that again at her next feed.

So I'm really low tonight - soooo tired, my feet hurt, my milk supply isn't increasing anymore,  I feel like I've been on full alert all day and I can't take anymore at all tonight, and I feel so alone - it's too late to call anyone to talk - I'll be talking with God until I fall asleep, but now there's only 1 hour until her next feed - I'm sooo tired!

If you are reading this tonight, please pray that she'll have a very quiet, uneventful night, and that I'll get some good sleep (well good 2 hours naps anyway) and that tomorrow will be so much better than today!

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