Blessings above all

I thought I'd put some of my thoughts and persepctives down here, as well as some of the blessings that have ocured in the last 36 hours.

First of all, I can see God's hand at work, in that we called 911 even before she was born, thinking that I would need to be transported to the hospital, but instead, the extra help was so needed once Esther got here - they were able to give her the extra help she needed right away and get her to the hospital so much faster that way.  The extra help was such a blessing for my midwife who really needed to help both me and Esther at the same time.

Even earlier, I had to have an ultrasound due to some spotting at 28 weeks (we usually don't do ultrasounds), and the information in the ultrasound about Esther and the placenta placement was so helpful both for analizing my bleeding problem (the ultrasound showed a high placenta) so we pretty much knew if was just me bleeding and not life threatening to Esther, and also the ultrasound had not shown any heart defects, so that ruled out her having a major heart defect - without the ultrasound, they might have sent her right to Seattle Children's hospital by helicopter.

Looking back, God also had been preparing our hearts to receive this precious little one into our family - even some of our children have expressed that they were not really supprised that Esther turned out to have down syndrome.

So we can see how God prepared our hearts, and made things occur that would make her birth so much less tramatic than it could have been.

Yesterday was a long day for me - it was so difficult to even be able to recover enough to get to a car (it took almost 3 hours before I could do that), especially after so much blood loss.  But I was able to get to the hospital by 4:30 am and stayed almost the entire day with Esther.

I was also blessed in that the nurse assigned to Esther is not only a relative of my husbands, but also a dear sister in Christ who we used to go to church with many years ago.  She was been such a comfort to me as well as making things seem more "homey" for me.  She's also been good at reminding me to take care of myself and looking out for my well being.

I was also blessed with being able to rouse a dear friend, Jane, at 5:30 in the morning and she was willing to get up and come in to be with me - she arrived just as Daryl was heading home for some much needed rest and to be with our other children!

I was also able to reach another dear friend (Renee of the Baker's Dozen link here) who was actually just heading out the door for Bellingham - she was able to bring me some much needed ibuprophen and she went the extra mile a re-arranged her schedule and spent the entire morning with me!  She also happened to have her awesome camera with her, so she gets the credit for the two beautiful photos in the first post!

There was also the blessing of getting in touch with a wonderful lady from our church,  Diane, who lives nearby and she allowed me to go to her home yesterday to take a much neede nap, and she even fixed me the tastiest, healthy home made soup and sandwich!  That was such a wonderful respited in the middle of my day!

By God's design, our church was having a couples retreat, so although this made getting in touch with anyone difficult at best, we were able to get word to the pastors at the retreat about Esther and all those in attendance were praying for us all day!

I found out last night from one of the pastor's wives that at the retreat they were studying Psalm 42,  and that they were even applying that verse to our situation when they were praying for us - here is the part in chapter 42 that nearly knocked my socks of this morning when I looked it up:

Psalm 42:11 - Why are you cast down, O my soul?

And why are you disquieted within me?

Hope in God

For I shall yet praise Him,

The help of my countenance and my God.

This is ministering to my soul today.  It reminds me a song that I just love that really ministered to me when my dearest neice was killed by a drunk driver (over 6 years ago, leaving behind 2 little children) - here are some of the words and link to where you can listen to it:

I will praise you, Lord my God
Even in my brokeness
I will praise you Lord
I will praise you, Lord my God
Even in my desperation
I will praise you Lord

And I can´t understand
All that you allow
I just can´t see the reason
but my life is in your hands
and through I cannot see you
I choose to trust you

Even when my hearts is torn
I will trust you Lord
Even when I feel deserted
I will trust you Lord

Even in the darkest valley
I will trust you Lord
and when it seems all hope is gone
yet I will praise you Lord

I will trust you Lord my God
Even in my loneliness
I will trust you Lord

And I will not forget
that you hung on a cross
Lord you bled and died for me
and if I have to suffer
I know that you´ve been there
and I know that you´re here now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kh0TC6Er92o

This song speaks to me so much right now - but I don't want you to think I'm wallowing in self pity and that this is such a tragic event in my life, because I know this is a blessing straight from the hand of God, and though from the outside most would consider this to be a trial and a devastating event in my life I see this as a loving act from my father in heaven.

So no matter what I see/think/believe, I know that God is doing something great and wonderful and loving in my life and Yet I Will Praise the Lord!